Darlene Vanderweide 2008Canadian Regional CAREGiver of the Year
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When Darlene Vanderweide read the ad seeking CAREGivers in her church bulletin, she felt like she was reading about herself. "I was not really looking for a job, but I could not say no to one that described me to a 't'," she recalls. She went for an interview in January 2008 and was soon given her first client.
During the past year, the staff at Cathy Brown's Waterloo, Ontario, Franchise Office has come to know Vanderweide as the perfect match for challenging, eccentric and demanding clients. "Darlene is a Godsend," says General Manager, Kathy Hirsch. "She embodies all that we imagine when we define the perfect CAREGiver." Others agree, as Vanderweide was named the Canadian Regional CAREGiver of the Year.
She feels that her life prepared her for what has become her newest career. A dental assistant by training, she left that profession to stay home with her kids and also watched other children. "My house was always full of children," she said. She later worked in a video/dry cleaning store. When it closed, she was out of a job for several months and considered retiring. Her husband's father had come to live with the family, and she cared for him. She and her two little dogs regularly visited an Alzheimer's disease unit, and now their visits to a nursing home are a highlight for its residents.
Today, she sees caregiving as her ministry. "You can see there is a real need for you, and people are so thankful for the tiniest things you do for them," she says. "It's like an adventure every day."
The CAREGiver kit Vanderweide carries in the trunk of her car ensures she's prepared for many adventures. It contains a variety of items, including bird food, binoculars, hair styling supplies, old show tunes music, a shovel and vice grips (she uses them when things break).
It's what Vanderweide calls the "Hallmark moments" that make being a CAREGiver special. Some of her clients have macular degeneration, a cruel disease that robs them of their sight and keeps them from doing simple things like lighting a candle. "For Christmas, I found a battery-operated candle, and that is what I gave them," she said. "You couldn't have given them a better gift. It was something little, but it gave them back an ability."
One of her clients has progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP), a movement disorder similar to Parkinson's disease that also has emotional and intellectual effects. During the summer, Vanderweide worked with her in her garden. At first Vanderweide gave Phyllis a stick and told her to point to what she wanted her to do. From there, Phyllis graduated to using the clippers, pruning the bushes by feel because of her limited sight. The two also made trips to the greenhouse for new flowers and shrubs.
Once gardening season ended, Vanderweide began looking for other ways to stimulate Phyllis' mind. One day they sorted Phyllis' sewing cupboard. When Vanderweide arrived the next week, she learned Phyllis had her husband take the sewing machine in to be repaired. The following week, the husband told Vanderweide that Phyllis wanted to make a dress for her granddaughter for Christmas. Vanderweide guided her hand as they cut around the pattern. "She couldn't see the needle, so I put her hand on the fabric while I sewed so she could feel like she was doing it," Vanderweide says. "I wanted to give her back the feeling that she was making this dress.
"The dress was a huge surprise for the family," she says, and it fit the granddaughter perfectly. "I received a card today from her daughter thanking me for doing this for her mother."
"In whatever she does, Darlene has a ready laugh and a hearty spirit," Phyllis' husband says. "She has a lot of grand ideas. One tradition she has introduced is to end each day with a tea, using our valued Wedgwood china. I try to get home a bit early, to participate in this summing up of the day."
One of her most memorable clients was a woman who had Alzheimer's and would often get upset. "The only way to calm her was to start singing 'Apple Blossom Time'," Vanderweide said. After learning the name of the song when she heard the woman sing it, Vanderweide found the words and music (thanks to help from another client's husband) so she could sing it, too. One day, the woman didn't recognize Vanderweide and asked where her CAREGiver was. Vanderweide simply walked behind the woman, tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I'm Darlene, your CAREGiver. Did you miss me?" The reply was a welcome "yes."
Another memorable client was a woman who had just lost her husband and remained strong in the weeks following his death. "One day I walked in and could tell she had tears in her eyes," Vanderweide said. She told Vanderweide she had had her meltdown, and it was time to get on with things. Later, while they were in the car, the woman looked at Vanderweide and said, "I want to tell you something. I never cry in front of anybody, but I felt I could cry in front of you."
Vanderweide said that it's a a gift when her clients give her their trust. "I am always thinking about ways I can give back to them," she says.
A good CAREGiver, she says, is patient, listens and works alongside the client, and is not overbearing. "A good CAREGiver should be willing to do what they are asked and not just be a surface person, but a 100 percent person. Clients deserve 100 percent of you. They have worked hard their whole lives, and they deserve to be respected and cared for."
When she can give something back to a client, like the ability to light a candle, it gives the senior self-worth. "When your senior is happy, their family is happy," she says.
"I love my clients," Vanderweide says. "They are a part of me and my circle of life. I look forward to seeing them as much as they look forward to seeing me. We always start with a hug and end with a hug. And I always ask my clients this before I leave: 'Did you have a good time?' They usually answer 'yes,' and with that I usually say, 'That's all that counts,' and to me, it is."
Hirsch of the Waterloo office says that Vanderweide represents "all that I personally believe in and would be as a CAREGiver. I admire her 'Joi de Vie' and trust her immensely to represent the values and purpose of Home Instead Senior Care."