Making hard conversations a little easier with the goal of helping your loved one stay independent, safe, and comfortable at home.
Talking to your loved one about aging and care needs can be one of the hardest—and most important—conversations you’ll have. But waiting for a crisis makes everything harder. With a little preparation, you can help ensure that your loved one’s wishes are heard, understood, and respected.
This guide offers helpful tips for starting meaningful conversations, building a care plan, and understanding how Home Instead can support your family’s journey—every step of the way.
When Is the Right Time to Talk?
Experts recommend beginning these conversations around age 70—but sooner is always better. Aging is a natural part of life, and talking about it openly can empower your loved one to stay in control of their future.
How to start the conversation (Begin with their needs in mind)
Review what you need to discuss beforehand to help you stay focused during the conversation. Involve the right people, such as siblings, grandchildren, and anyone involved in their care. Focus on the positives and how the right care can enhance their quality of life.
1. Make a Plan
- Review what you need to discuss beforehand to help you stay focused during the conversation.
- Involve the right people, such as siblings, grandchildren, and anyone involved in their care.
- Focus on the positives and how the right care can enhance their independence.
3. Listen with an Open Mind
- Be patient and encourage them to chat.
- Take the time to really listen, restating what you hear.
- Don’t interrupt or cut them off.
2. Pick the Right Time and Place
- Select a location that creates a relaxed atmosphere.
- Choose a day and hour that gives you time to talk without distractions.
- Be flexible. You might need to have more than one conversation.
4. Make it About Them
- Be clear that the conversation is about supporting their independence.
- Ask how they’re managing and what they’re feeling.
- Take their wishes into consideration.
Download the Action Plan for Successful Aging®
These Action Plans were thoughtfully created to help you connect with your older loved one around some of life’s important topics including living and financial choices, health, relationships and dating, driving and end of life. You’ll find conversation starters, supportive tips, and useful resources to help guide planning and make family discussions a little easier.
Download U.S. Guide Download Canadian Guide
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